Give Me A Reason
by TheNaughtyBits
Summary: HarryRemus Harry doesn't see the reason in him being a wizard anymore, and Remus wants to know why. PART SEVEN UP yay! SLASH! Feedback always welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Give Me A Reason

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: I do not own the world or the characters! I'm just a poor writer!

Notes: It's currently being beta-ed so please bear with it's mistakes. I'll post the beta-ed version when it's done :D

The world to Harry Potter that day was dark, cold and pointless. Everyday was the same, not always dark, not always cold, but always entirely pointless. The black haired boy sighed to himself and traced the familiar route back to his flat in Muggle London. Muggle London was convenient for Harry; it had shops, pubs, Diagon Alley, and enough Muggles to keep most of his insipid fans away. His life was like standing on the edge of a crowd, close enough to join in, but far enough to opt out.

He sighed again. It was December, and as he trudged through the grey sludge that passed as snow, he realized he didn't want to return to his flat alone. He didn't want to see the cracked window, the dripping tap, or the cold, empty bed. He didn't want to go back and breathe that heavy polluted air, or hear his Mexican neighbours arguing through the thin walls. It was with a slight shudder that he realised he never wanted to go back there again.

A bus rattled past and splashed a puddle of icy water over his feet, which made his gasp and look up. The streets of Muggle London were lit up festively. Not with fairies and charms like Diagon Alley undoubtedly was, but with large electric lights. The still silence of the decorations made Harry smile. He was sick of magic. Idly, he let his feet carry him along for a moment, before realizing where he was.

A day long ago, one of the few occasional days of Harry's childhood he wanted to remember, the usual baby sitter had been ill, so Aunt Petunia had brought Dudley, and unwillingly Harry, to London to see the lights and go Christmas shopping. Harry had been completely entranced then, and as he looked around the street, he started to remember moments of the day. He currently stood outside Harrods, where Dudley had once stood screaming for his television whilst Harry had been glued to the window, watching a soft velvet teddy bear ride round a small track on a brightly coloured train. The display was very different now, featuring a new electronic shooting game and a soldiers dressing up kit, complete with army face paint.

He carried on walking wrapped in his own thoughts. That was the bench where they'd sat when Dudley got tired, there was where the fancy café they'd stopped for tea had been, now a shop setting posh women's clothing, that was where Dudley pushed him in the road, that was the shop that had that beautiful panda teddy bear he had spent three Christmas's wanting…

Suddenly there was a bump, a small glimmer of warmth and then he hit the ground. The cold, hard, wet ground. He looked up at the silhouette of the stranger; apologizing profusely and started picking up the things the man had bought.

A warm familiar hand grasped his and helped him to his feet. He looked up and caught a warm, familiar gaze from golden eyes. He gasped.

"Remus!"

"Hello, Harry" The older man said smiling. He looked almost exactly the same as the last time Harry saw him, almost a year and a half ago at the Victory Ball. His hair was perhaps a little longer and maybe there were a few more line characterizing his face, but he still looked the same, worn but handsome. Wrapped in a faded Gryffindor scarf, his cheeks pinked with cold, he looked so very like the professor that had once taught him to ward off Dementors.

Somehow, Harry found he couldn't smile back and leapt forward to hug the professor. It had been so long since he had seen any of them; suddenly he needed to know they were still there.

Lupin blushed for a second, surprise flashing in his eyes before awkwardly returning the hug. When Harry let go, the older man smiled.

"So what are you doing Muggle London?" They both asked, simultaneously. Harry laughed nervously, and Remus chuckled.

"Come on. Let's go get a coffee."

The café they chose was small and discreet, enticing them in with the smell of coffee and baked goods. Harry smiled at the waitress and ordered a cappuccino and a sandwich, whilst Lupin ordered tea and a large chocolaty muffin.

"I came up here to do some Christmas shopping." Lupin said once they'd sat down, indicating to his many bags. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with Diagon Alley?" He asked curiously. Lupin looked shocked for a moment.

"You mean you haven't heard?"

Harry shook his head mystified, and the werewolf looked furthermore shocked.

"How can you – What happened in Diagon Alley was a accident. One of the Weasley's experiments went wrong, and took out half the street. It's currently being rebuilt."

Harry gasped. "Were the twins ok? Was everyone alright?"

Lupin nodded. "Of course, they had spells to protect themselves from this kind of thing." Harry nodded relieved. "How can you not have heard?" Lupin looked more concerned than worried, and took a sip of tea.

"I - I cancelled my subscription to the Daily Prophet." He said quickly. Lupin frowned.

"And you haven't been to Diagon Alley in a month? Or to The Burrow? I'm sure Ginny or Ron or even the twins themselves- " He broke off looking intently at Harry, who had turned an interesting shade of pink, and busied himself removing the cucumber from his sandwich. There was a sigh. "Have you had any contact with the wizarding world? At all?" The voice sounded cracked, pitying.

Harry shook his head. "Not for about a half year." He said quietly. "I…I could seem to get any piece so, so I moved out." He said with a sigh. " I now have a flat here in London." He tried to smile. "There just didn't seem to be any reason for me to be a wizard anymore." He shrugged, too casually and took a sip of his drink.

Remus looked at Harry intently for a moment, Harry gazing back like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Eventually he dropped the gaze and turned to look out the window and watch the people hurrying past in the falling snow. It was beginning to get dark.

"You should have said something. People were worried." He said quietly. "I myself called on you several times. Why didn't you answer anybody's owls?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I haven't received any owls." He said honestly.

It was Lupin's turn to look surprised. "Oh," was all he said. He stood up. "I'd better be going." He said fishing into his pocket for some Muggle change. "I still have a few more presents I need to get."

Harry looked at his watch. "How close is it to Christmas?" He asked.

Again Remus's eyebrow rose. "Sixteen days."

"Well, do you want to stay at my place tonight?" He asked suddenly, on impulse. "It's nearly closing time, and it's a long way to travel back."

Lupin considered him for a moment. "Alright, Harry. Give me your address and I'll Apparate over when I'm done." Harry nodded and took a pen from his pocket, scrawling the address on a napkin.

"What do you want for dinner?" Harry asked, standing up as well. Remus smiled slightly.

"Don't worry about it. I'll cook, if you do the washing up."

Harry nodded and smiled. "I'll see you in a bit then."

They paid, left the café and set off in different directions, Harry to walk back home and Remus to continue on into town. When Harry got back to his little flat, he opened the windows to clear the heavy smell and started clearing up, throwing out all the takeout boxes, and the pile of muggle newspapers that had been accumulating by the door. He changed the sheets on the bed in the spare room, had a shower, redressed and was just lighting a fire when the doorbell rang.

He opened it with a smile and invited his guest in. Remus smiled warmly, but that faded when his eyes caught sight of the dry kindling light unlit in the fireplace and the half empty box of matches. He flicked his wand and suddenly the grate burst into merry flames. Harry hurried to shut the windows.

"Why don't you keep you wand on you, Harry?" Remus asked gently Harry smiled bitterly.

"Like I said." He murmured softly. "There just isn't a reason for me to be a wizard any more." He walked across the living room, and indicated to a door. "That's your room," a few more steps into a darker hall, "That's the bathroom," he turned with a sigh, "and that's my room."

Remus nodded and smiled, walking into the open plan kitchen and looking across at Harry. "Come and sit. I want you to show me where to find things." Harry nodded and followed him into the kitchen flicking on the light. Remus looked in is fridge and laughed.

"And what a have you been eating for the past year and a half?" He asked smiling.

Harry blushed. "Take-out mainly." The joke left Remus's eyes and a quiet growl stirred in the depth of his throat.

"Come and chop these." He ordered, reaching into his bag and pulling out two onions, and a red pepper. "And tell me what you've been doing since we last saw each other." Harry smiled and stood, glad of something to do. As he stood chopping, Remus clattered about with pans and soon delicious smells were wafting through the kitchen.

"Well, I have done anything really." Harry began, "When the excitement of the end of the war didn't die down I moved out of Grimmauld Place and"

"You sold Sirius's house?" Remus stopped cooking to turn and star at Harry, who shook his head.

"No, I just brought a flat in Hogsmeade over the Hog's Head. When I couldn't get any peace there I moved in with Fred and George for a bit, helped out at the shop. That was fine for a while, but then it wasn't, so moved in here. What have you been doing?" Harry asked.

"Oh, this and that." Remus answered evasively. "I run a bookshop in Edinburgh, but it's closed for the holiday season."

Harry nodded, and finished chopping the onions.

Half an hour, the table was laid and the two friends sat down to homemade spaghetti.

"This is delicious, Remus!" Harry said tucking in with vigour. Remus smiled at the complement, and asked if there was any salt. When Harry got up to find some he felt Lupin's curious eyes on his back. He turned around to meet the golden-eyed gaze.

"Do you use magic at all anymore?" He asked sadly. Harry went red.

"I don't know what you mean." He went back to rummaging through his cupboards for salt.

"You try to light a fire with matches, and when I ask you, actually chop vegetables and boil the kettle."

"It's not my fault I don't know any house-keeping spells." Harry replied defensively still rummaging. Remus lifted his wand.

'_Accio salt' _His voice was sad, almost a whisper. Harry could see Remus took no pleasure in forcing the truth out of him. He sat back down at the table, a cold sigh whisping through his lips.

"When I … I killed Voldemort, the moment I cast that spell…it felt, it felt like I was invincible. Like I could do anything and fear no repercussion. It was great and terrible both at the same time. I couldn't stand it. It was like in that second I had no loyalty to anyone and no conscience. All I wanted to do was cast that spell again." Harry finished thinly, staring determinedly at his plate, picking at the food with his fork.

He heard Remus sigh. He probably hated him now.

"You know," Remus's voice said soothingly, a soft hand cupping his face and forcing his eyes up to meet his own. "That's almost exactly how I felt when I killed Peter. For that one second, I felt invincible." Harry's eyes shone wide and innocent. Emerald green, so fragile and trusting. Remus rubbed his thumb across Harry's soft bottom lip. "But that doesn't mean I stopped using magic. I swore I'd never use that curse again, but now the war's finished, I know I'll never have too. Where is your wand?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't think I bothered to unpack it."

Remus scowled now. "What if somebody attacked you? Even a muggle?"

Harry shrugged again and stood up, collecting their plates and walking to the sink. He turned on the tap.

"If you want a shower there's clean towels on the rail." He said, his voice forced back to brightness. The conversation was clearly ended, what Harry hadn't said was obvious to both of them. Lupin nodded, and squeezed his shoulder before leaving the room.

Later that night, a scream awoke Remus in his bed and he sat up suddenly. For a moment there was silence and he could work out what woke him, but then the terrible, bloodcurdling scream sounded again. He delayed only long enough to pull a pair of trousers over his naked form, before rushing to Harry's side. Inside the dark unkempt bedroom, the boy still slept, despite his screaming. In his terror, he had kicked the sheets off himself and lay sprawled, clad only in boxers and shivering with cold. Remus's eyes wandered over the thin pale form and it was only then that he realised how much the boy had been neglecting himself. Without the baggy t-shirt he looked to thin, barely a shadow of his former self, his once Quidditch toned muscles wasted away into nothing. His fingers tangled in the sheets as he fought to get away form some monster inside his own head. Instinctively, Remus leant forward and wiped the sweat from the smaller man's brow, gently pushing the hair off his face. Harry calmed slightly leaning up into the touch. Remus sighed and sat on the bed, drawing the covers over the boy. He wasn't sure whether to wake Harry or not, but the more warmth Harry got, the less he screamed and the more he calmed. Remus stood and walked around the bed, pausing for a fraction of a second before climbing on top the covers next to the boy, and drawing him into a hug. If Harry awake, he would see how non-sexual it was, Remus hoped, somewhere in the back of his mind. Somewhere more towards the front of his mind, he hoped _he_ could see how non-sexual it was.

Harry moved willingly towards the warmth and latched onto it, as if his life depended on it. Remus gasped as Harry's arm twitched in his lap, and had to shut his eyes to keep his iron fist of control in place. After a while the boys breathing evened out and the tears dried on his face. He still didn't let go of Remus though.

About half an hour passed before Remus thought Harry was deep enough asleep to allow him to move. He loosened Harry's vice like grip, one finger at a time, before wriggling out of its hold. As he reached the door, Harry spoke.

"Remus…" It was somewhere between a whine and a pant. Harry still looked completely asleep, but Remus couldn't help muttering a spell to be sure. "Please…. " Remus blushed at the voice. He could feel it travelling straight down his body, making him start to harden. Harry moaned, and Remus swallowed. He should really leave, his mind reminded him. He was at the door, he could just walk out…

"Remus, please…." Remus grasped the door handle firmly and took a resolute step. From the bed, Harry called to him. "Remus, fuck me, please…"

Something inside Remus snapped. He walked forward, and leant over Harry kissing him soundly on the lips. On the bedside, his eye caught sight of a bottle of sleeping pill and he wondered if Harry actually used them. There were a muggle medicine but the jar seemed quite full. Remus sat back looking at Harry, who whined.

"Again… more… please…"

Remus swallowed, and kissed Harry again, and felt a thrill run straight to his cock as the black haired boy started kissing back. Remus didn't want to go further, but the breathy voice was driving him wild, and with the moons rise in three days, his restraint wasn't what it was. He kissed down Harry's neck, biting softly in the tender spot where it joined his body, then soothing it with delicate sweeping flicks of his tongue. The hot trail of kissed traced down his pale body, gently kissing away the silver war scars, before the skilled tongue found a nipple and eased it. All the while Harry moaned and writhed underneath him.

"Remus…please…" The kisses travelled lower and soon, the boxers found a place on the other side of the room whilst a warm heat enveloped Harry's stiff prick. The black haired boy moans grew louder and a hand found the back of his head.

"Please, Remus…fuck me…" Harry said, his eye opening slightly. His hand reached out and opened the draw of his nightstand and he pulled out a tube. Remus blushed when he saw it, he didn't expect Harry to have such a thing. He removed his mouth from Harry and slowly coated his fingers, easing one into the boy's warm tight heat, and moved it, following it with another, and then another. With three fingers sliding gently in and out of the Harry, it didn't take long for Remus to find that sweet spot inside, making Harry call out loudly in pleasure.

"This may hurt a tiny bit Harry, but I promise you it won't be for long."

"No," Harry said. Remus's stomach dropped. It wasn't surprising if he'd woken up. "Not like this." Harry said, rolling over and standing up on his knees. "Like this…."

Remus swallowed, and coated his cock. He didn't think he'd ever felt himself so hard. A smile reached his lips.

"Why like this Harry?" He said, thrusting in slowly. Harry pushed himself hard back onto Remus, causing the older man to gasp.

"Fuck me, Professor… Fuck me hard…" He panted.

Remus leaned over and paced a kiss neatly between Harry's thin shoulder blades. He was only too happy to fulfil that request.

With each thrust he could feel himself grow closer as Harry's panting and mindless pleas drove him wild. Each thrust was hard and deep, brushing against Harry's prostate with every movement, and the boy matched the pace moving back and forth with wild abandon. This was far better than his other dreams. A hand reached down and started to pleasure him, and another moan escape his throat. There was an answering growl and Remus leant down over him, still thrusting, relying on Harry completely for support as the other hand snaked around to squeeze the tough pink nub of his nipple.

"Come for me, Harry." He hissed. "Come all over my hand, like the dirty bitch you are." With a gasp, Harry tightened, his balls clenched and he came in a white mess over the bed, and Remus's hand, and with a few more desperate strokes, the ex-professor pulled back and splattered his load into the mess with Harry's. The boy sighed at the feeling and smiled, and Remus collapsed on him. They lay there panting for a silent moment. Harry was the first to move, reaching across to kiss Remus.

"I know I'm dreaming, but stay with me? Please? Just a little while?" He begged, obviously awake. Remus steeled himself. The lust was over, now all he felt was shame. Remus struggled to find his voice.

" I – I can't." He said eventually, horse. He stood up. Tears filled Harry's eyes but he made no attempt to close his splayed les of clear the mess around him.

"You never do." He whispered, crying openly. "Just like you never let me take your hair down, and you never cum inside me no matter how much I beg."

Remus stood and left the room, pretending he didn't hear the whispered "I love you," as the door swung shut.

The next morning, Harry woke to finding Remus gone. His bed was in the usual mess, but he left it, walking shamelessly nude to the kitchen. There was a note on the table.

I'm sorry; I had to leave early for work. If you want to come and spend Christmas with me, I'll pick you up from Edinburgh station, Tuesday at six. Owl me with your platform and reply.

Harry nodded at the note. He knew Remus wasn't there even before he woke up. Even in his dreams, he'd heard the door slam. In dreams and real life, fact was Remus Lupin always left.

The Boy-Who-Lived slumped over the table, cradling the note. He wasn't sure why he was crying.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Give Me A Reason

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: um, for just this part, T probably.

Warnings: None!!! Yay!!! (For this part at least. evil laugh)

Disclaimer: NOT mine!!!! I'm poor and I do this for fun!

Remus couldn't have felt better or worse when he got Harry's reply little under a week later. The werewolf was confused. He was happy about what Harry had said, nervous about its implications and felt terrible for taking advantage of Harry when he was, if not unwilling, then certainly unaware for the most part, and he felt beyond all usual boundaries of traitorous for leaving. Doubts and worries swirled about in his mind, chasing memory and fantasy, and leaving his mind in on seething, aching mess.

He hated himself for being such a coward, but he was determined for things to be perfect for Harry. He shuddered as those words swirled around in his head the memory dragging him bad, clouding in over his eyes.

"S_tay with me? Please? Just a little while?" The voice so thin, fragile, begging him. _

" _I – I can't." He heard his voice ring out, cruel and cold, while Harry lay shamelessly on the bed, the evidence of the werewolf's crime chilling against his pale skin. Tears started spilling from those beautiful emerald green orbs, and marks started to show on Harry's skin, making him glow like an abused virgin._

"_You never do." The accusation rang out clearly in the silence. "Just like you never let me take your hair down, and you never cum inside me no matter how much I beg you." _

He sighed again. If he couldn't forgive himself, then how could Harry, when he found out. If he found out. If only it hadn't been so close to the moon then he would have had more restraint, at least that ordeal was over for now. Remus Lupin sighed again. So much was undecided.

Ever since he'd woken from the drunken stupor he'd drunk himself into after leaving Harry's flat he'd made a decision. The only clear decision among the festering cesspit of guilt and doubt that tortured him. He'd make things perfect for Harry. As long as the other boy was willing, he wouldn't leave his side ever again, except when the full moon but the raven-haired boy under threat.

With this decision though, he hadn't let himself rest, and found that when things were done the hard muggle way, he was often to tired to be kept awake by his thoughts at night, definitely an advantage. Therefore it was with Muggle ferocity that he attacked the cosy flat above his shop, cleaning it most thoroughly and painting it various shades of soft colours, and adding all the festive decorations he could find.

It was now Monday, Harry's train due to arrive tomorrow at five fifteen the day after and Lupin couldn't wait. There were so many reasons why he shouldn't let Harry get involved with him, starting with his furry little problem, and continuing on with the age difference and going on to the realms of the unseen. It wasn't just that Remus was old enough to be Harry's father; he'd been a close friend and confidant of Harry's father. What if Harry saw him as a surrogate father, or worse a replacement of Sirius?

He sighed and shook his head and removed the magically shrunken tree from his pocket with a glare. After three attempts to get it up the narrow curving stairway, he'd finally lost patience and zapped it with his wand, shrinking it to the length of his thumb. Now he smiled serenely, placing it gently in its pot before upsizing it, casually letting it grow just that little bit higher so it scraped the ceiling.

The doorbell rang, suddenly making him jump. Curiously, he frowned and when to open it, and gasped as it revealed a sheepish looking Harry Potter. Remus smiled and stepped back.

"Harry!" He smiled warmly. The dark haired man blushed.

"I…I got evicted." He said, by way of a greeting, still not meeting the werewolf's golden eyes. "I got your address off the internet." He explained, and shrugged, turning redder still. "I didn't think you'd mind…I don't have anywhere else to go." His voice ended on a whisper.

Remus didn't know how to respond. He wanted to hug the frail frame until the pained look went from his eyes, ask him exactly what the internet was, kiss that poor, abused lower lip until Harry stopped nervously biting it, ravish the boy and fuck him senseless against the nearest flat surface until he forgot his worries all at the same time. He settled for taking Harry's solitary suitcase and ushering him to the sofa.

"Tea?" He asked from the kitchen, lighting the oven with a delicate flick of his wand.

"Yes, please." Harry called from the next room. Remus winced at the sound of it. Since he had left, a scant days ago, the boy looked paler, gaunter and more starved than ever. Remus wondered whether the boy had eaten at all since he had left, opening the cupboard to find some biscuits, the back of his mind dryly noting that if Harry was going to stay, they'd need to go shopping fairly soon.

"Here you go." He walked back into the living room, handing Harry a steaming mug. "Have a biscuit." He put down the plate as well. Harry accepted the cup and took a biscuit. Remus's apartment was nicer than his had been, he thought. Smaller, but better kept in a nicer area. He smiled at the tree, the Dursleys had always insisted o the same battered plastic thing "so Duddy-kins does get a needle in his foot. ". It was always nice to smell a real one, just like they had at Hogwarts.

"I see you've decorated," He commented with a smile, dipping his biscuit into his tea. Inside, he was wondering why he had spent last night in a very cheap hotel, and the night before crouched in an alley. He had nothing to be frightened of with Remus, apart from his supposedly subtle interrogations uncovering the very deep and dividing affection the green-eyed boy kept kindled in his heart for probably too long.

Remus smiled.

"Thank you. I need to go shopping for food though, and you'll have to help me decorate the tree."

Harry nodded. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

"It's nothing. Everyone likes company over Christmas." Remus shrugged. "If you want to stay until New Years the festivities are worth seeing."

Harry nodded again and took a sip of tea. "I'd like that, thanks. Although, while I'm here…can we keep it…can we not tell people till after Christmas? I could really do with the peace." He went pink at his request and worried his lip again but Lupin just nodded.

"I'm having a party on Christmas Eve, but sure. It'll be our little secret."

Harry blushed at this, and tried to stop his mind from imagining all the other things that particular phrase could refer to. Like the small tattoo on his hip, or the way he dreamed at night or…

"Harry, Harry…" Remus watched amused and wondered where the boy's mind had wandered. He remembered that glazed look from the front of his classroom after he'd just finished drawing a diagram or writing something on the board. He just hoped the boy wasn't scheming a way out of seeing people. The professor finished his tea and stood. Harry ate the last of his biscuit and followed suite, a polite look of question on his features.

"I…we need to go shopping." He smiled apologetically. "I'm running low on food, and I want some special things for Christmas." Harry nodded, swallowing nervously. "Don't worry though, the muggle shops aren't far. I can't be bothered to go to Hogsmeade today, it's too late."

Harry nodded. "When do you think Diagon Alley will be up and running again? I need to visit Gringotts fairly soon."

"A few days before Christmas Eve. It was in the papers this morning."

Harry nodded again. It was slightly surprising how much the two wizards enjoyed shopped together, as once they'd found food; they patrolled the high street looking for presents for people. Harry sighed happily. He felt so much better being with Remus, happier, and altogether lighter as, unlike Fred and George, the werewolf didn't use magic on every single little task.

Remus stopped in front of a bank, and headed for the cash point. Unsure whether to follow, Harry stood where he was and looked up and down the busy street. It looked almost the same as London, except, well more festive. Perhaps it was the thicker snow or the fact that this street wasn't all designer boutiques that everyone wanted. Harry suspected it wasn't what was seen as the best place to shop, but he preferred it. It was quaint and so much more like Diagon Alley. He found it strange that he actually wanted to go there.

He turned round as Remus approached him blushing faintly. Harry fixed him with a questioning loo, but his ex-professor just smiled disarmingly, and started walked. Harry fell into step beside him and waited for the man to speak.

"I may need to open up the shop for a while." He informed Harry quietly. Harry nodded.

"Can I help? I can be quite persuasive when I want to be."

Remus blushed, suddenly reminded of the sultry voice from that bed. "Of course," He replied, his throat constricted. Harry smiled widely, and the two continued up the street.

True to his word, Harry was a very apt salesman. The shop sold both muggle and magical books, separately of course, and Harry guided several lost husbands to the perfect book for their wife's Christmas present, along with the advice to buy chocolates and lingerie as well. Remus watched him in between dealing with the steady stream of clients from the magical world with something akin to amazement. A muggle would come in, sweaty and panic-stricken and calmly Harry would inquire which book they wanted, and whom it was for, and either find the correct title, or something by the same author or of the same ilk. The customer would sigh greatly relieved; Harry would drop in a joke, and leave the person to browse. Then, somewhere between half an hour and ten minutes later, the customer would come to the till, purchase three books more than they intended and continue on there way. Living like this was very easy, and soon the morning came where The Prophet finally announced the grand (re)opening of Diagon Alley.

Harry smiled when he saw this. Living with Remus had made him miss the magical world more than he could have guessed, and as Harry wrapped himself in his beloved Gryffindor scarf and half-heartedly attempted to flatten his hair he was more excited than he cared to admit. They had agreed to arrive there at ten, half an hour after the grand opening to try and deflect any attention off Harry.

At the bottom of the stairs, Remus stood patiently waiting with a carved wooden box of green powder in his hand. His usual shabby coat and scarf in place, he smiled. If anyone else was in his place, the werewolf was sure they would have considered it a date. As it was him though, it was most definitely not.

"Are you ready, Harry?" The dark haired boy nodded. "Alright. I'll floo first, just encase there is any press around."

Really he wasn't too worried about the press. Since Rita Skeeter's book had been published, she had stopped her 'honest work' and focused instead on flaunting her newfound status and a supposed celebrity.

They arrived in the Leaky Cauldron to find Tom with his usual toothless grin, and the pub mostly empty, with a few of its guests enjoying a hearty breakfast, and the occasional early drinker. Remus smiled at the man, and together the pair passed through the pub. When they got to the entrance of the alley, Remus tapped the correct brick and together they proceeded. Diagon Alley looked busier than Harry had ever seen it, just the same except more lavishly decorated. Harry smiled as memories started returning to him. He had definitely missed the wizarding world.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Give Me A Reason, Part 3

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: This bit's fairly boring, uh, I mean, clean. It's mostly filler, but it has a few important bits.

Disclaimer: If I owed Harry Potter, he would so get laid. :D

,--,

Fear clawed in the pit of Harry potter's stomach, eating away at him like corrosive acid. He know longer felt the excitement that had griped him in the flat. Everything around him was too lively, mere blurs of colour rushing around. He wasn't used to the level of noise. There were so many people, things. Noises, flashes, lights. Spells. It was all too much.

Harry clutched Remus' arm, afraid to be lost in the crowds and gripping unconsciously tight with his bony hand. Remus winced slightly at the contact, as Harry unknowingly squeezed one of his most recent scars, but he didn't refuse it. He smiled and gently pried the cold hand off his arm, encasing it in one of his own and squeezing slightly.

"Are you alright, Harry?" The question was quiet and gently. The fear was all too obvious in those emerald green orbs; the werewolf could practically smell it. The black haired boy nodded in response, forcing himself to relax. He clearly wasn't comfortable in all the crowds. Remus stepped closer to the boy, turning them around, and silently forcing people to skirt Remus rather than barging past Harry.

"Come on, I bet you need to visit the bank by now." He murmured into Harry's ear. Harry shuddered and nodded, fighting a blush, and together they pair made their way through the crowds of swarming wizards, towards the snow white monument of Gringotts Wizarding Bank.

Once inside, the tension seemed to seep from Harry's frame, and he calmly extracted his key from the pocket of his jeans. Remus was amazed it had survived his anti-magical purge. When Harry moved in, Remus noticed Harry had nothing else left to remind him of the magical side of life. Apart from the wand, the scarf, the photo album, a few books and his father's cloak kept, he had nothing, and even then everything was kept locked tightly in a battered suitcase. He didn't even have a decent pair of robes.

A goblin called Gristhorn was ushering them to the track to await their cart. Harry seemed to enjoy the ride, leaning as far out of the vehicle as the magic would permit, and laughing as the wind rippled through his hair. He was glad to see they had stopped mistreating the dragons.

It was only after Harry had collected some of his gold and they had been ushered out to the bows of four smartly dressed doormen that something struck the black haired man as odd.

"Remus," he wondered aloud, frowning in thought, "Don't you need to, surely you must need to use the bank? "

The werewolf smiled sadly.

"I forgot, you don't read the papers, do you Harry?" Harry shook his head, needlessly.

"Not even the muggle ones."

Remus sighed. "I can't use the Wizard's bank anymore." He explained. Bitterness was audible in his tone. "According to Ministerial Degree, I am nothing more than a Dark Creature, and Dark Creatures don't need bank accounts."

"But that's so-"

"Unfair, I know. But, shush anyway. Here isn't the place to talk of such things." He squeezed Harry's hand again, offering an apologetic smile. "Come on, we need to buy you some gloves. Your hands are freezing."

Harry had never seen such a shop before. They had taken a slight detour from Diagon Alley and found a wizarding department store of every kind of clothes you could possibly imagine, both wizard, muggle, and even 'half-humans' like giants. It looked almost like a muggle store, on a very grand scale. The pair stepped onto a glass platform, and selected winter wear from the 73 options on the list held by a stature elf.

As they rose to the correct floor, Harry gasped. He had never seen such a wide array of gloves. There was a whole wall of tiny pigeonholes full of pairs of gloves with every imaginable pattern, design, shape, colour, and subject to every conceivable spell wizardkind had invented for such purposes since the dawn of time. They drew nearer, Harry felt overwhelmed. He'd never been so spoilt for choice, not even at Hogwarts Halloween Feast. Remus smiled at the look on Harry's face. The boy's expressions were always so endearing.

"Here, try these." Remus said, grabbing the thickest pair of gloves he could see. They were simple, plain and black, made with 'Itch-free, Weather-proof Wool!'. Harry looked at them dumbly for a moment.

"I don't wear black. I've worn to much of it." There was a bizarre, unreadable look on his face. Remus nearly kicked himself as the memory of many indefinable, rain-washed funerals came back to him in one endless black procession. How could he be so thoughtless?

"Alright, let's try…these!" His amber eyes wandered the shelves for a moment, until they found the section of self-tailoring, "winter-warm" five-fingered gloves. "What's your favourite colour?"

Harry shrugged, his eyes following Remus's fingers as they lightly brushed against the materials, trying to find the softest fabric. "I really don't have one. It's never been important."

The werewolf sighed slightly and picked up a pair of dark, earthy green gloves. The insides felt like silk, but the apathy of the boy was starting to bother him. Harry needed to start caring about himself.

"These?"

"Sure" Harry's cold fingers fumbled and one glove fell to the floor. Remus bet to retrieve it.

"Here, let me." He murmured already slipping the glove over the boy's hand and rubbing it fondly. Halfway through the action, the werewolf stopped and withdrew his hand, blushing. His golden eyes met Harry's. The green-eyed boy was blushing too.

"Um…I'll just go pay for these." Harry yelped turning swiftly. He couldn't let Remus think of him as a child. He could handle silence, loneliness and brutality, but he couldn't stand fond touches if they weren't backed by the right kind of love.

Remus nodded at Harry's disappearing back.

"Oh my gosh! Harry!" A voice suddenly rung out across the store. Harry's first instinct was to wince and duck. Remus vaguely remembered it.

A tanned, fuzzy haired, ran over and hugged Harry. He didn't return it, and leaned away from the contact, wincing slightly. Realising something was wrong; the girl let go, stood back and examined Harry with Mrs Weasley's eye.

"Your too thin, Harry. Have you been eating? Where have you been-"

"Nice to see you too, Hermione." Harry replied. His voice sounded tired again. Remus could see him beginning to shrink away again.

"Oh, the other's will be so happy you're here, Harry!"

Harry blanched, and Remus decided to make a move. He walked swiftly over to them and stood next to Harry.

"I'm afraid we're rather busy," he announced clearly. "It's very nice to see you, but we really need to be getting home." Harry turned with a relieved smile and took his friends arm, stepping closer almost defensively.

Hermione's mouth opened slightly, and a look of comprehension dawned on her face.

"Oh, all right then," She said rather abruptly. She was trying to smile but her eyebrows kept making a frown. "I'm glad you too have finally found each other. You make such a sweet couple. I'll see you at the party on Christmas Eve."

She leant forward and hugged Remus, who responded with one arm, noticing how Harry's hand tightened jealously, tugging on his arm.

"Thank you, Remus," Hermione's voice whispered in his ear. "You don't know how long he's been wanting this."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Give Me A Reason

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: High T….maybe….

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

---

"Remus…What Hermione said in the shop today…" Remus and Harry had returned from the alley and now they both sat on the sofa, drinking tea. Harry's words had been the first to break the awkward silence that had settled between them since they got in. Remus had trid to continue there shopping trip but had eventua;y given in because Harry was so jumpy, even in the hidden backstreets. The black-haired boy was blushing as he spoke and was determinedly examining his mug, turning the empty cup in his hands.

"Does that mean…" He swallowed, his throat constricting oddly. If his dreams were ever to become a reality, they all depended on this. "Does that mean you're gay?" He hadn't meant the last part of the question to become a whisper.

The golden-eyed werewolf nodded slowly. "Yes, Harry, I'm afraid it does." He stood up. "Would you like another cup of tea?"

Harry could see a faint blush pinking his features, but his friend didn't look embarrassed.

"How did you know?" He blurted, before he could stop himself. Remus took his cup and walked to the kitchen.

"If you really want to know I'll tell you." The water rushed to fill the kettle and Remus clicked on the gas. "But you'll need to know a little of how I grew up before I can explain. Stop me if I start to get boring. Would you like some biscuits?"

Harry nodded, moving to the kitchen to sit at the table. It was warmer there. A plate was placed in front of him.

"Well, I guess it started when I got turned. It was a family camping trip and I was four or five. My aunt and two of my cousins came too, but my little brother got sick and stayed with my grandparents. Then, when the adults left us asleep in the tent to go and pick some rare mushrooms that grew in a forest nearby. When the wolves attacked I was the only one left alive, and my mother and aunt blamed my father, as the mushrooms were for one of his potions. So my mother left with my little brother, and we never saw them again."

"I'm sorry," Harry murdered reaching across the table to take Remus's hand. Remus shrugged.

"Don't apologize, it's certainly not your fault. It's just if I didn't explain you'd have questions afterwards, and it would be harder to explain then. Anyway, after my mother left, my father to me to live out in the middle of nowhere, about a mile outside of a little village. Soon enough, he fell in love with a muggle vet, that's someone who-"

"Yes, I know." Harry smiled slightly, taking another biscuit from the plate.

Remus smiled apologetically before continuing, "She was very nice, and by the time I was twelve, I had all but forgotten that she wasn't my actual family. At that time my father was home schooling me, and when Miranda went to work he would teach me magic, and when she was home, it was the muggle subjects. It was like our little secret.

When she found out about my illness though she fled the house, her parents though she had gone insane, as she babbled about monsters. Luckily, we didn't move again, and I got a job to help my father out, as he had never really earnt a lot. I was a cleaner, in a big B+B run by this old lady. It was the end of the summer holidays, and I was about to return to Hogwarts for my second year." Harry watch Remus's eyes drift back in memory, becoming hazy as if the moon were sliding behind a cloud.

---

"When you've finished in here, Remus, Mr. Johnson's room will need cleaning, he's finally gone." The old lady's voice was thin and dry, manicured by a high class, English accent.

Remus, at fourteen, had the same drowsy gold hair, caught in the same lazy ponytail, was dusting the windowsill, and looked up with a smile. He'd received an amusing letter from Sirius that morning and with the start of term approaching, he couldn't have been happier.

"Alright, Miss Wethers. Um, I'm afraid I can't come here to help you next week-"

"Yes, I know, dear. Your father told me you were returning to school. Do you have fun there?"

"Yes, Miss. I love it."

"Good, good." The old lady turned in the doorway and started to slowly stumble down the hall. "Don't forget about Mr. Johnson's room." She called over her shoulder.

Remus nodded, and picked up his supplies, walking carefully down the hall to the door on the very end, opposite the bathroom. It was number twenty-seven.

The cleaning of the room was very easy, and it was the boy's job to check all the wardrobes and draws were empty before sweeping and leaving. The wardrobe and all the draws in the chest stood empty, but in the draw of the bedside table he found something else. At first, he thought it was just an ordinary magazine, and moved to bin it, but then he caught sight of the picture on the cover. Two beautiful men, kissing.

Remus dropped it in shock, something stirring in his stomach. He blushed. He'd seen a magazine under James's bed like this, except his had girls on the cover. And his didn't create a feeling like this.

From them on Remus was in a rush. He swept the floor, concealed the magazine in his jumper, and ran all the way home, stopping only to get paid. There was an odd, burning desire inside him; he had to see what was on the next page.

Harry was on the edge of his seat. He knew what a fourteen-year-old boy would do next and every pore of his being was praying for Remus to slowly describe it with that wonderful, melodic, baritone voice of his. Or better, give Harry a live demonstration. Harry felt himself blush at the thought. Remus was speaking.

"So, what about you, Harry?"

"Huh?"

"What about you? Hermione can't just think we're together for no reason." Remus said in a causal voice, looking Harry straight in the eyes. Harry blushed.

"Heh…When Ginny ditched me for being an inadequate lover just before the end of the war, I got terribly drunk and ended up falling into bed with the nearest people I could find. Hermione walked in on us, and came back to collect me the next morning."

"Who was it?" Remus asked.

"The twins." Harry murmured blushing, determinedly not looking at Remus. Remus opened his mouth to inquire which of the twins, and then closed it with a click, a fierce blush spreading over his face. There was a moment's silence.

"That means your gay too, then?" Remus said it more to break the silence than anything.

Harry shrugged. "I don't honestly think I've had enough experience to tell."

---

That night in their respective rooms, neither man got any sleep. Harry lay awake staring at the ceiling, ignoring his raging hard-on. His mind was full of thoughts of Remus – the movement, the smile, the sensuous lips, the dreams of them connected and moving together, panting, searching for release. If only those dreams would one day be real…

He moved his hand down his body with a sigh. He hated doing this. It only served to remind him how alone he really was. If only Remus would her him…wondered what was going on, rectify the crimes of the dream-Remus that always left. He looked at the clock, just as the golden hands ticked over the mark of midnight. It was the 23rd of December, the night before Christmas Eve.

In his room, Remus found he could not keep still. If he sat, he fidgeted until he moved, and if he paced then he slowed until he stopped at something to fiddle with it, of flick through its pages without catching a word. Harry's words fro earlier circled his head, and hopeful suggestions and impossible conclusion played with his heart.

Perhaps it was guilt or perhaps it was fear of missing the chance that hung heavily in the air of the apartment, but what ever it was it drove the werewolf to finally come to a decision, and find his way to Harry's door.

There was a knock.

"Harry?" A small, quiet voice in the dark apartment. The knock came again. "Are you awake?"

Harry's hand paused in its actions and he threw the covers across himself, fighting a blush. He grabbed the nearest book to cover the bulge in the duvet.

"Yes! I'm awake…Come in!"

Remus poked his head around the door, and gasped. He hadn't expected Harry to be topless. Not like he hadn't seen that before…his conscious reminded him with a pang.

When he'd done that, he'd been expecting Harry to be well used to that lifestyle, but if he was inexperienced then that could also mean…

"Harry, I think we need to talk." Remus said, walking in and shutting the door, taking a seat on the very end of Harry's bed. "I came here to apologize, I haven't been entirely honest with you, and I'm really hoping you won't hate me." He sighed and looked at his hands, missing Harry's concerned, quizzical look. "When I came to stay over at your apartment, I heard you screaming, and I comforted you from a nightmare." Harry sat up a little straighter now. Had he frightened Remus away? Is that why he wasn't there in the morning?

"I'm sorry –" The green-eyed boy began.

"No, Harry. Please let me finish. Any friend would have done that, but I'm afraid a took it further. I wasn't sure if you were awake, well, no, I thought you were asleep so I left but, you called me back, and we ended up…" He heaved a great shuddering sigh. "I ended up taking advantage of you. I'm sorry."

Vaugue memories, blurred motions and feelings started to return to Harry's mind. A flash and panting.

_"Again… more… please…" That burning kiss…._Flash_ and hands moving up and down his sides stroking his…._Flash_, "Come for me, Harry... Come for me like the dirty bitch you are."_

Harry snapped out of his revive. He'd thought that was a dream….but if not then, then…

"Remus?"

The room was empty, and all Harry heard was the sound of a slamming door.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Give Me A Reason, Part 5

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: M – Tis a smexy chap.

Disclaimer: If I owed Harry Potter…Well, wouldn't you like to know grin

Yea, sorry people. This update been a little too long in coming. My fault. Sorry to have left it in such a bummy place, as well. Thank you to everyone who has read this story put it on alert (I'm flattered) and especially all my wonderful reviewers to which I owe mahoosive hugs, and thank you for your patience. :D

---

Harry stood and ran straight to the door, wrenching it open and following the man out.

"Remus!" The older man was already at the bottom of the stairs. He turned.

"I'm sorry, Harry." He croaked. His eyes were pierced with guilt and pain. "I'm so sorry."

Harry descended a few steps. "There's no need to be sorry, if you meant what you did." He said. He could feel tears beginning to form in his eyes and couldn't understand why. "If you meant it, then…then please come back and do it again." Remus made an agonized move towards the door, looking back at Harry with wide eyes. "You always leave in my dreams. Even after you did that you left. If you leave now…then I won't be here when you get back. You'll lose your chance completely. Forever."

Remus shut the door to the outside and turned, frozen.

"I'm not worthy of you, Harry…" He whispered. Harry held out his hand, shivering slightly. His hand still rested on the doorknob.

"I'll decide that."

Remus didn't move. "I can't let you make a mistake like that. It could ruin your life. _I_ could ruin your life."

"The only thing, the only mistake that will ruin my life is if you walk out that door now." Harry reached out a hand again. Remus looked agonized and glanced at the door.

"How can…how could you ever forgive me for doing that to you?" The werewolf almost looked like he was crying. His voice cracked. "It must have been rape…"

Harry walked down the stars to stair near Remus, only one step above.

"It wasn't rape." He said firmly. "Without those pills the muggles gave me I'm sure I would have been able to remember and reciprocate, but…" His fist came back and he slapped Remus on the cheek, hard. "But I'm still pissed you didn't stay with me."

Remus rubbed his chin, suddenly aware of Harry shivering beside his.

"I'm sorry." He wrapped his bare arms around Harry, and kissed him gently. The stood silently embracing for a moment that seemed to stretch into forever.

Harry smiled shivering again. "Can we go to bed now?"

Together they walked back to Harry's room. Remus stopped in the doorway and Harry blushed, realising now that he was completely naked, and partially aroused. He flicked on the bedside light, sliding under the covers, beckoning to the werewolf.

Remus stepped forward. "We shouldn't do this," He murmured, sitting on the very edge of Harry's bed. "I'm a werewolf and-"

"And nothing. I want this." He leant forward and captured the werewolf's lips in a gentle kiss. And I want you."

Remus nodded. Their kiss steadily grew more passionate, and Harry moaned in delight. It felt wonderful; Remus was such a good kisser and-

"We shouldn't be doing this." Remus broke the kiss. Harry let out a frustrated growl, and sat up, pushing Remus onto his back and climbing on top of him, and straddling his thighs.

"We should be doing this." He said firmly. "And even if we don't go very far tonight, I think I'm going need some help." He gestured into his lap, and glanced into Remus' with a smile. "And it looks like you do to." He smirked, watching the older man blush with pleasure. There was a small pause. "I want this to be forever."

Remus sighed. "I can't dissuade you, can I?"

Harry shook his head with a triumphant smile. "Not a thing. You don't want to be dissuaded though, do you?" Green eyes became unsure.

"Of course not" Remus replied honestly. "I think I should be though. I'm not worthy of you. I'm old and-"

Harry silenced him with a kiss. Remus growled into the kiss as Harry gently bit his lower lip, and deftly flipped their positions. Harry let out a startled yelp, but smiled and tangled his fingers in the long strands of golden hair.

"What if I hurt you?"

"You won't. And anyway, I might enjoy it." Harry smiled and leant up for another searing kiss.

Their tongues warred, battling for dominance. Harry moaned and divested the older man or his shirt, flinging it to some far corner in his haste to feel hot flesh against his. They both groaned as warm flesh hit warm flesh. But Remus' trousers were still in the way.

Harry's fingers slipped on the button as he fought to release Remus, gasping at the things sensations the werewolf was creating against his neck. Hot kisses, slow and gentle, but rough and almost possessive. His hand moved to tangle in the sheets with a groan as Remus moved down his body, flicking a coy tongue over each nipple in turn, grazing them against his teeth as they hardened. Harry groaned. Remus' hot trail of butterfly kisses wandered lower, circling Harry's belly button before plunging his tongue rapidly in and out in a parody of sex.

The brunette moved lower still, lapping at the very edge of the dark hair surrounding Harry's length, before letting his tongue wander across and find the sensitive flesh on Harry's pale thigh's. The black haired boy let out an impatient moan, followed but a lusty one as Remus began tracing idle patterns with both his hand and mouth. The hands rose up the insides of his thighs in a soft caress, inching smoothly closer, closer, but then away in a smooth, soft stroke.

Harry was on the point of screaming as the constant ebb and flow of pleasure drove him two kinds of crazy, but then he finally felt that hot mouth placing gentle kisses across his balls. Remus rolled the fuzzy spheres of flesh in his hands, almost experimentally, taking one in his mouth on a whim and sucking gently. Harry moaned, writhing against the sheets, his body beginning to arch off the bed.

With a small smile, Remus finally gave Harry what he wanted and started licking slowly up his length from the base. The member felt almost painfully hard. Remus looked up at the boy as he engulfed the head in warmth, teasing it, drawing patterns and labouring over its delicate slit. Finally, after much teasing, he let his mouth take all of Harry. The-Boy-Who-Lived gasped and writhed, incoherent curses and demands falling from his delicate mouth. Remus couldn't repress a chuckle that bubbled up from deep within his chest.

That was it. The vibrations were too much for Harry. His lithe form arched of the bed. Remus smiled at the scream of his name, and collected the splash of white with a smile, gathering errant drips with his tongue. Remus moved off the bed to drag the kicked-off covers back, and Harry lay panting. The werewolf snuggled in next to Harry. Neither spoke for a while.

---

"We have to do something you know." Hermione said matter-of-factly, tearing off another strip of wax. Ron winced, glancing up from his work. Chocolate brown eyes were determined and inside the redhead repressed a sigh. He knew that look.

"I can't stand to see them both in such denial. They're right for each other." Hermione nodded to herself, smoothing down another strip. "What I said in the shop won't have been enough. They're too stubborn." She tore the strip away from her leg.

Ron made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat, wincing again. It was never wise to interrupt his girlfriend while she was planning. He just wished she'd learn to keep her nose out.

"You know, they're having a party on Christmas Eve. You must come with me."

"Of course, dear." Another strip was ripped away.

"And you'll have to help me. I think I have a plan." Ron sighed and turned his piece of parchment.

"Of course."

---

Harry was happy. Warm, comfortable, sated and sleepy. Remus had an arm thrown across his chest. Their breathing was returning to normal. The room smelt of sex. Something was nudging him in the thigh. Harry smiled and moved to-

"Don't Harry. Let it be." Remus said. His voice was kind of hoarse.

"Why?" Harry whispered back.

"You're tired and sleepy. Besides, I want you to know that I'm not in this for myself. I'm here for you."

Harry smiled at the notion. "You don't need to prove that to me."

Remus sighed. "No." He answered. _But I think I do have to prove it to myself._

_----_

_Now, sweeties, I need some help. I think, as the amount of people reading me is going up (thank you so much) it would be wise for me to get a beta, just to help me out. I'd have to trust the person though, but people are big and scary to me (hence the lack of friends to do this for me) so, if anyone is interested PM me so we can email/MSN to get to know each other a bit (The last person who betaed for me stolemy work). Um, it would be good if the person was honest, so if I sucked they'd say so, and someone who isn't easily offended and doesn't mind looking at M rated stuff. I'd try to think of some way to return the favour too._


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Give Me A Reason, Part 6

Author: TheNaughtyBits

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: M – Tis a smexy chap, again.

Disclaimer: If I owed Harry Potter,

Thank you (again) to my wonderful reviewers (cookies for you all!), and the general patience of readership, because stuff has been really lousy here recently. Also, to the wonderful people who volunteered to be betas. Thank you so much, but because of the way things are turning out here, there is no way I can give you a regular update time so, its just unfair of me to ask it. I will keep plowing ahead with this though, please bear with the mistakes.

Anyway, here's the long-awaited chap! I'll stop filling your head with comments and let you read.

---

Harry awoke when the room was bathed in silent shadow. A faint silver glow was peering timidly around the very edge of the heavy curtains. The black haired boy sighed happily, letting out a breath he didn't know he held. This was the scene his nightmares had never let him see. He was warm and comfortable, Remus' calming breath fanning soft warm air across his bare chest. He turned slightly and something shifted against his thigh, nudging him. Something stirred in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to wake Remus up, to ghost kisses across his lips, to feel the werewolf's smooth-rough hands caressing his sides.

Golden eyes fluttered open. "You're staring," He smiled, but Harry blushed crimson.

"I'm sorr-" He began.

"Don't be, Harry." Remus' hand came from nowhere to stroke ebony strands from Harry's glittering green eyes. "You can look all you want, but I'll never know what you see." He sighed. "Are you really sure about this? If you change your mind I can always-"

"If you even contemplate finishing that sentence…" Harry let the sentence hang scowling. Remus chuckled, but Harry saw something flicker in his eyes. He looked down. "I think I know why you're so hesitant. I know I'm not anything great-"

Remus' eyes hardened and he growled. "Never say that."

The words were harsh, a command, and left the room resonating silent. Harry received a fierce kiss, and found golden eyes staring into his, firm fingers raising his head.

"Harry, you are charming, handsome and intelligent. Never say otherwise." There was a pause again. Harry kept gazing into Remus's eyes. He couldn't break the contact. The werewolf seemed to realise how his words must of sound and backed off, blushing slightly. "You are wise, Harry. Time is on your side, and you have the world at your fingertips. "

Harry repressed a snort, pressing a gentle kiss against his lover's soft lips. If he had been charming, bitter cynicism had long since rotted it away, and his only wisdom had come from Dumbledore's commands. They sighed, two held breaths almost in unison.

"I should apologize." Remus murmured after a while. "I'm not a confidant person, and being…Moony complicates things, but I'm yours if you'll have me." Harry smiled, a true smile for once. Remus was lost in its warmth.

"I want you to be mine. Always. But I want to be yours forever too,"

Remus nodded, catching the black-haired boys lips in a sweet, delicate kiss. Harry returned it fiercely, deepening it, leaving them both panting. There was a nudge against his thigh, and the boy smiled again, gently stroking with the tips of his fingers. Remus flushed.

"I'm sorry, I should have said. Being a werewolf, well, being a werewolf I have higher appetites, and so on… "

Harry smirked. "Well, that can only be a good thing."

Remus turned a deeper shade of pink, and claimed Harry's lips, moaning as Harry hands began to wander. He felt the hands fumble with the rough material of the jeans that were still there, and chuckled, emitting a sudden gasp when the button and zip were roughly pulled apart. Harry grinned, feeling the flesh awaken at his touch, and gasping as Remus did that thing on his neck that made his lose all coherency. He forced him self to concentrate and soon flung the offending garment to a distant corner of the room. They kissed again, Remus growling and biting at Harry's lips, roughly grinding their hips together. Harry moaned loudly. Remus took hold of both their hardness's and started slowly stroking them, watching Harry's face, hungry for every reaction.

Harry didn't realise he'd been so aroused. The emerald-eyed boy moaned wantonly, leaning to kiss his lover. Vaguely, he remembered the awkward, sticky fantasies that had secretly claimed him in the dormitories at night since the third year. He had been so clueless back then. This was so much better. The werewolf's rough-smooth hand felt so good, their few drops of pre-cum combining and lubricating its work…

Another gasp brought Harry's mind back, and his eyes caught sight of a small bottle of a clear, viscous substance on the bedside table. Remus followed his eyes, and shook his head.

"That's a healing potion, it's very expensive." He panted. "Besides, what else can I give you for Christmas?"

Harry moaned, an attempted response swallowed by a bubble of lust.

---

When Harry awoke again, it was bright, sunlight flooding the room. The boy lazily got to his feet, putting on Remus' discarded shirt, smirking at the missing buttons, and silently padding to the kitchen to make tea. When he returned to the bedroom with two steaming mugs, Remus was sleepily sat up with a copy of the Daily Prophet, and a tawny old was sitting on the dressing table preening its magnificent feathers. Harry shivered at the breeze from the open window. Remus dropped the newspaper to the floor and smiled when he saw Harry, accepting a mug.

"Anything interesting?" Harry asked, kissing Remus chastely on the lips. Remus shook his head, shifting across the bed to make room for Harry.

"Nothing important enough to stop me enjoying a lazy morning in bed with my boyfriend." He smiled and flicked his wand, which obligingly closed after the owl's departure. Harry smiled and snuggled up to the man, careful not to spill his tea.

"So we're boyfriend's now?"

"I hope so. I think I'm too old to get away with calling you my lover, and not get arrested." He chuckled, and took a sip of tea. "So what do you want to do today?"

Harry shrugged and glanced at his watch. He nearly dropped his tea.

"Shit."

Remus gave him a curious look.

"It's Christmas Eve today. The twenty-forth."

The werewolf nodded absently, before a thought struck him. His hazel-gold eyes widened.

"We have plans tonight. Damn. I'd forgotten."

Harry nodded, putting his empty cup down, and nuzzling into the older man's neck. "Want me to help?" Remus replied with grateful kiss.

"Can you remember where you left your trousers?"

The day went quickly without incident. The furniture was moved, food brought in and magically prepared. Harry stepped off the ladder, having just placed the last piece of tinsel on the tree, and Remus closed the door, having just hung a wreath.

"Come on, let's go get a shower. No doubt they'll start arriving soon."

Harry nodded, looking a little dazed, his fly still undone. When the amber eyes found this detail, Remus couldn't suppress a grin. He knew exactly how to exact his revenge on the younger man for driving him wild all day with constant suggestion and innuendo. It had started with a fairly innocent discussion of the baubles on the tree, as Remus held the ladder for Harry, and then the black-haired boy had begun turning and stretching unnecessarily, giving Remus delicious flashes on muscle and butt. The werewolf had then decided to misinterpret Harry's constant movement for instability of the ladder and had used it as an excuse to 'help' Harry by slowly sliding his hands up and down his inner thighs, tracing circles and making idle patterns until the boy, crazed with lust had finally turned and jumped on him. Remus smiled. He didn't realise how talented the boy's mouth unwittingly was.

A thought struck him and he went to a draw pulling out three thick white candles, all unburned and about six inches tall.

"What are they for?" Harry asked, standing near the bathroom door, watching multiply and levitate the candles into place. Magic didn't seem to unsettle him as much anymore. Not when Remus used it.

"They're like the opposite of scented candles. Instead of giving out scent they take it in."

Harry looked confused.

"This apartment doesn't smell. Well, except for the tree."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You may have got used to it, but it smells of, uh, love in here, Harry. A human might not notice it after a while, but we have a couple of werewolves coming tonight, and they won't stop smelling it. Besides," He smiled. "I like my privacy."

Harry smiled and took Remus's hand. "Should we put a candle in the bathroom, then?"

Remus laughed. "No, we'll behave." He missed Harry's mischievous grin, as the full force of the younger man's pout was turned upon him.

_----_

Yeah, they smex a lot it seems, but new relationships seem to do that. :shrugg:


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Give Me A Reason, Part 7 (My longest-running ever! Wow!)

Author: TheNaughtyBits (That's moi!)

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating:

Disclaimer: If I owed Harry Potter, I so wouldn't be horny right now.

This chap came easier than the last, mainly thanks to the holidays…And was re-found earlier today, after a PM from **ShyOne** reminding me of its existence. So, major loves and huggles to Shyone, with the dedication of this chap, and of course loves to my wonderful reviewers. Thank you for your patience with this, hugs to you all. (And I do give kick-ass hugs)

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Harry sat on the sofa. He'd just finished his second glass of fizzy liquid he hoped to be alcoholic, and now rolled the glass between his hands. Remus was in the kitchen talking in serious tones to a well-kept man and a blonde woman, but Harry was trapped. He'd tried to stay by his lover, but somehow they'd become detached. People were everywhere, and all of them wanted to talk to Harry. He'd tired to disappear into his bedroom as soon as he was alone but found it (understandably) locked, and it was when he stood desperately twisting the handle that Hermione had found him.

With a gulp and a fake smile he'd been pulled to the sofa. Kingsley sat across from him, talking to Bill about nothing particularly interesting. Hermione was next to them, still talking. Ron was no-where in sight. He saw a frown flicker across his school-friend's brow and caught her look. With an internal sigh, the emerald-eyed boy tried to focus on her words.

"…. And everyone was _so worried_, Harry! Why didn't you tell us where you were? Ron's mother was going spare! _I _was going mad with worry! You didn't even bother to write!" Harry shut out her voice again, scowling. He didn't need lectures, especially hers. Her entire speech had been solely punctuated by exclamation points and over-exaggerated gestures, or at least, what he'd paid attention to had.

He coughed and stood, excusing himself with the smile he usually reserved for the press. The party had been going for a good few hours, and he'd been fine for the start of it. Fine when he was with Remus. Now he felt guilt ridden and vulnerable, only wanting to crawl into Remus' arms and lose himself in slumber, his mind too drained for anything else.

He wandered towards the kitchen; maybe Remus would be there, attending to some guest; that was likely. Harry couldn't see him talking.

"I can't see how they can get away with imposing such measures anymore, not with-" A blonde woman was speaking irritable, a frown etched into her face, but she stopped and smiled when she saw Harry. Harry returned the smiled weakly, looking round the door.

"Remus?"

"You alright, Harry?" Remus asked pulling Harry inside the kitchen and giving him a firm embrace. Internally, he was kicking himself very, very hard. Of course the boy wasn't ok; he was clinging to him! The golden-haired man found himself squeezing tighter planting a kiss on Harry's head. He never should have allowed himself to be taken away from his lover, and left him with all those people and their questions. Trembling fingers wrapped themselves and out Remus' waist, and the black haired boy nuzzled his face into the man's firm shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut.

Someone in the kitchen coughed. The fragile moment broke, but Remus kept his arms around the smaller man. Harry, for his past, didn't move away, just turned so he could face the one that had disturbed them.

"Harry," Remus said, his voice warm, introductory and sounding slightly amused. "This is Sophia Johnson, and James Parker Larrington." Harry nodded to each of them with a polite smile. He didn't feel like moving to shake hands. "They share my condition."

The man moved closer, as if to inspect him.

"Is he _yours_, Remus?"

"Larrington! Don't be such a snob!"

Harry flushed. The man's accent was upper class and intimidated, sounding superior. In his head, Harry labelled it condescending and found his hand being taken form Remus' warmth, briefly shook and then closely scrutinised. Remus raised an eyebrow, and met Harry's confused green eyes. The hand was sniffed, at the point where it joined the wrist.

"He smells of you."

Remus glanced at Harry, and pressed a kiss to his forehead, sighing very slightly.

"Then I guess that means, in our terms at least, that yes, he is mine." Harry smiled at the thought, proving he didn't mind, and Remus continued, dropping his voice slightly. "We were hoping to keep it quiet for a while."

The man nodded. And the blond woman smiled.

"We understand." She stood up. "But let's go play social. Can't have both the hosts hiding out in the kitchen all night."

Harry felt better standing with Remus. The rest of the night Remus kept himself in constant contact with Harry, nothing obvious, just the brush of shoulders, or the guiding hand on his shoulder or back. Together, Hermione didn't seem to have the nerve to lecture the black haired Gryffindor, as the pair circulated amongst their guests, but she did keep her beads eyes on them and catch them with conversations and questions whenever she could.

The pair talked to everyone, got handed there own food. Then, finally, the music faded, and the barrage of hugs started assaulting Harry. When the flat was eventually empty, Harry staggered to the sofa.

"I'm either slightly drunk or very tired."

Remus smiled, looking equally tired, leaning against the door Hermione and Ron had just departed through.

"Come on. Let me take you to bed." He moved across the room and scooped up Harry who nuzzled into his neck, listening to the steady heartbeat. By the time they got to the bedroom, Harry was too tired to respond to the gentle kiss, and didn't notice the loving hands remove his T-shirt, shoes and jeans. Before the boy knew it, he was asleep, and Remus joined him after a lazy flick in the direction of the living room to clear the mess. Remus perched on the edge of the bed, easily falling back to join his lover in the world of dreams, and they curled together, sleeping limbs entwined.

---

When the tousled hair Gryffindor awoke, there was a weight lying across his legs. Warmth surrounded him, and he curled around it happily, smiling for real. He had something to do before Remus awoke, and tired wriggle out of his grasp. Remus, an evidently heavy sleeper didn't wake, just grunted and tightened his hold on his lover. That made Harry smile more widely and he turned to press a kiss to Remus' forehead, hoping it to be the key that released his arms. The arms tightened again, and Remus rolled. Harry forced himself to repress a giggle, and grinned at the positioning comfortably under Remus. But it gave him a problem; Remus' stocking was in the wardrobe of the guest bedroom. He could get up, but Remus… Or he could just wait, but that wouldn't be the same.

There was a wand on the bedside table – Remus'. He could always…He knew the wand worked for him…It was easily within his reach. He considered it silently for a moment, then picked it up. It was warm and encouraging under his finger, and had a sense of Remus about it. The memory of that great but terrible moment came forward, reaching into the forefront of his mind. It took a lot of strength to push it away and not let it overwhelm him. He waited until his breathing evened.

"Accio Remus' stocking." Harry felt the magic pulse for a moment under his fingers, and relieved that it had worked dropped it back onto the bedside, where it rolled. A moment later Remus' stocking floated eerily into the room and landed gently on the bed. Harry smiled and snuggled into Remus as the man shifted with a small happy moan.

They awoke in the same position. They sun was rising behind the half open curtains and they woke together, both rising out of their dreams, hands held. Harry shifted, running a hand through the golden hairs that adorned Remus, and removed the thin white band confining his long hair. Remus smiled and gave Harry a light, chaste kiss. His golden eyes opened drowsily.

"Merry Christmas" Harry whispered.

"Mornin'" came the horse reply, with a chuckle. The man sat up, shirtless, having removed his clothes when he wok in the night, sleepy and too hot. "Tea."

A feral grin lit Harry's face, and he kissed his partner. Remus was so adorable when he was sleepy. Then, he caught sight of the Harry stocking on the ends of his bed.

"**PRESSIES**!"


End file.
